found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
