First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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