she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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