Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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