Pappa wants mamma naked
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
