as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize