So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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