worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
