after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
