Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
