Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
50% drunk capacity currently
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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