oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
