Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
