Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
