dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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