I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize