bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You left your phone here
Wait...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
