bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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