Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
