I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
