week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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