Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
only you would photoshop your dick
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
