Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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