I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
