Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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