You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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