You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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