In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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