WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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