The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
high people should be assigned attendants
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
