doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
