who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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