evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He? As in you personified your dick?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
