he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
