How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
