You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
