I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
