So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
