Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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