yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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