Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
