I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
