Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think I sprained my soul last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize