You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
