my soul wont recognize me after tonight
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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