It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
