just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
