i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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