I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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