just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
