wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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