mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
