So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize