I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
