The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
