I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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