You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
