I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize