I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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