butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
