Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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