i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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