you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
