I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
