but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
