Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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